I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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