my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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