just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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