Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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