Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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