Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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