Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
