420 ftw
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
