i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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