I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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