Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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