I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
