no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
