fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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