look no pants
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize