i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
