Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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