I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
