I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
