I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
