I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
