i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
