if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize