just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
