I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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