We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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