I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
