Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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