We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head