help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches