yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.