Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i can juggle bunnies
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.