I heard we made out
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You should frame my arrest warrant.