North Korea, Best Korea!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
