make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
