do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
