I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
