I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
why do cheetos always look like penises
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
