Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
