I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
