My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
