thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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