office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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