I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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