"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
