why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
