im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my poor anus
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
