I am midnight drunk by noon
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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