he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
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In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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