Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
