I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
