i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
