OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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