My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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