nut hugger
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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