i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize