She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
