I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
