addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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