I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
