I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Let's get the cat blown out
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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