spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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