How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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