do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
