why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
