i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i've created a new STD.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
