69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
