you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
