So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
